Would you peel this orange for me?

If you have been healthily offline, you have come to the right place to be utterly poisoned by internet knowledge. Twitter is a hellscape we all find ourselves coming back to but for those abstaining, we've gathered some of the funniest tweets from this past week.

The orange peel theory has taken over the timeline. The idea is if you ask your partner to do something that you can reasonably do yourself and they do it, it's a display of a healthy relationship. So girls have been asking their partners to peel an orange for them and some have been given horrific results from their partner. 

In other news, Dracula is on Twitter. So if you have a celebrity that you suspect is a vampire, DM my guy Count. Scroll down and see two baristas twinning in a way befitting a horror movie set in the Pacific Northwest.